People are always asking me, "Suburban, we know that you are a creature of the tropics trapped in a frozen wasteland of deep-dish pizza eating people who mispronounce their vowel sounds, but if you were to move back to South Florida, wouldn't you miss the change of seasons?"
It's an interesting question, and one that we in the Kamikaze Weather-Related Complaint Department have given some thought to. First, the deep-dish pizza contingent, while obviously wrong, does not have as big a slice of the demographic as commonly believed. Also, many vowel sounds are a mee-ya-ter of opinion, apparently.
But seasons change, technically, and it is important to take a stand on where you stand on the issue, even if you are
standing in five or six inches of snow at Easter.
My position is this: It is too fucking cold in the Greater Chicago area and this is just as true in "spring" as it is in "not spring" - and the latter is a much longer season. So it is difficult for me to weigh in on a debate that seems so hypothetical.
It may say "Spring" on my desk calendar, but calendars are full of things that no
one acknowledges, like "Grilled Cheese Month" and "Mother's Day."
I'm not saying that there is nothing here to recognize as "spring-ish." There are little green shoots popping up through the layer of new-fallen snow that sits atop the old-fallen snow. And people have recently begun leaving their scarves and gloves behind when they head out to work in the morning. No one wants to be the last one wearing last season's clothes, even if it's 27 degrees outside.
It's what's known as "fashion frostbite syndrome" and it is a real thing, even if spring is not.